You know those moments in class or some instance where you’re around others whom you don’t know very well and you’re asked to introduce yourself and provide an interesting sufficiently obscure fact/summary of your entire being in a minute or less?

So you have a mini existential crises whilst awaiting your turn for the awkwardness of it all and contemplate who you are and what you’re all about in your nineteen/twenty or so years of life all in the few seconds leading up to your turn to speak. Firstly, the whole idea of this is against the fiber of my being. I always fight the impulse to rise from my cheap plastic seat and exclaim

“No! No. That is not how this works. You get to know someone gradually, over time. Through conversation and observing their behaviour. Their handwriting. The way they walk. Their facial expressions when no-one is looking. The films they watch. The jokes they make. The little things they do are what reveals their hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary.”

Cue the viola’s and melancholy pianoforte.

The face that you have decided to make right now.
Unflattering, by the way.

Ok that end bit is somewhat inspired by Chuck Palahniuk. Google him. He wrote ‘Fight Club’.

Blogging is a mentally exhausting and innately narcissistic activity. I run my own personal blog and have for almost two years. It’s not a site and it’s more music/pop-culture/review/inspirational based. It features quotes such as

“It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.”

– High Fidelity, Nick Hornby

That’s how I approach all of my relationships with prospective dates, fyi.

I am also a naturally introspective person so you would expect this to come easily to me by now but sometimes my thoughts circle like sharks in a  tank and I think and re-think until everything hurts and I want to turn off my ipod, shut my laptop and read or watch mindless tv or take a walk. But if I take a walk I inevitably end up thinking even more.

Any chronic over-thinker knows that we can do some pretty extreme things to escape our thoughts. And all of those creative types. Musicians, film directors. Quentin Tarantino is a favorite of mine- he features himself in his movies. During these small cameos I realise that he is a quirky little nut indeed.

This is him in Pulp Fiction. The guy in the robe with crazy hair. He added nothing to the storyline in this scene. His mannerisms were fascinating.

There’s a certian threshold you cross where you simply realise that you have become insane. It’s a fine line to toe. You have to have things that keep you grounded in this reality. Sometimes you need to numb your buzzing over-active mind all the way down. Blogging can surprisingly exacerbate this condition just as much as it can potentially relieve it.